Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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