So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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