Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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