Me too!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Randomize
