my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
