So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
