I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
