Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
