All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
