Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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