White coat. Heels.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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