My first STD was from a foam party
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
