Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
