Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think your dad took our porno
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
