its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
