this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she looked like the before picture.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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