You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
