He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
