i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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