apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
