are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
