so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
