I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
