No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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