Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
