I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dick very happy bro
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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