You work out of a Hotel?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
