Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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