walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
