great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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