No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
