i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
