Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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