just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
