but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize