No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
