she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
