so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
