It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
