One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize