no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
