Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
