I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I need to calm my uterus...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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