she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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