I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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