TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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