i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
