He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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