you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
