you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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