to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
