It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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