Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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