Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
