I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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