She went from zero to smokin in five shots
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
