did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he puts the penis in happiness.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
