Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
