There is no way he is gay with that hair.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
My bed smells like the plague
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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