Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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