I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
