Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
