Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
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Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
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You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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