im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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