lets start a swedish sibling band together
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
